Chanting, chanting, chanting

Chanting, chanting, chanting...



Being in India, is being submerged in a world of familiar and unfamiliar sound. From early in the morning, like 4am, walking through the Ashram grounds, one hears chanting. The young monks are also up at that time, filling themselves and the sound waves with prayer. From our tent come constant sounds of chants and music. Sometimes the enormous metal gong is chimed, which takes one on immense inner journeys in meditation, and breaks up blockages in ones cells. Liberating.  In the evenings there's the Aarti ceremony down at the river in front of the big Shiva statue. Chanting, bells, harmonium. Solo voices and group chants. In the village there are always motor bikes and scooters hooting like crazy as they drive in and out of people, cows, dogs, beggars etc. And the River. It's huge presence constantly imprinting with the rush and movement of water.

I love the hour I have after course ends and before dinner, to walk around and drink in the atmosphere. I'm not tired or bored by it. Always something new and entertaining to see.

Today was the last day of lectures by GurDhuram who I've named GrrrrrrDunham. Sometimes the people who push our buttons can be the greatest teachers. And boy, was this the case with him. His delivery was so utterly frustrating and really quite boring to me. But I decided I'm going EFI on this course. (A term learned from Tour D'Afrique in 2008 where I had no desire to do EFI then. That was a cycle tour and people wanted to ride Every Fucking Inch. )
So EFI it had to be, and I sat it out on my mat listening to this flipping boring Englishman talk in phrases of 11words and less, in a dry monotone. As mentioned before, some of the gaps in his phrases were so long, and the content on either side of the pauses, so boring that I fell inside the equivalent of a black hole and sometime didn't emerge till the end of the lectures. I felt like a naughty resistant school girl. I knew I had to try find the lesson in it. So I just stayed on my mat throughout the days.
Well, either he became a little more animated as the days went by, or his material became a little more interesting, or......... it worked. I was able to move myself through my block and resistance, take the gifts out of what he was teaching and be peaceful with the rest. Viva Me!!
This morning he actually started his session off by playing two very loud very upbeat pieces of Bhangra music. Everyone leapt up and dances while he sat there on stage with a tiny wry smile on his dial, and wiggled his fingers a little. Almost adorable :-) 
It was his last day today. Yes!

The rest of the day was taught by the magnificent Sat Siri, on technique of different postures. I'm filling a book with notes.
The afternoon was filled by the skillful wizardry of GurShabad who led us through one of the most powerful processes yet. Some very strong postures, followed by a visualisation with movement and some dramatic gong power. The basis was a liver cleanse which enabled us to process anger, both new and old and release this before going into the opening of the most exquisitely held meditation.  I'm sure I'll never be the same again after this. 

And on and on. Tomorrow Gurmukh will be back with us. She went to the Kumba Mela for a few days. So it's more power on now until the end.
Yesterday we each taught a meditation in smaller groups. I'm happy with my holding of the space. However, doing 15 meditations through the day was pretty crazy, and by the end of yesterday I knew I was very sensitive because every time I passed an animal in the streets I started crying. I'm so pained by some of the very hungry looking dogs, and emaciated cats. Even the cows made me cry yesterday.

We have some days to prepare a class which we'll each present to our groups starting on the 18th. This is the practical part of our course, and I think we do a written exam on one of the last days. Great standards. I'm up for it. Gratitude and love to my friend Micky who suggested to me long ago that I would make a great yoga teacher. I could never have imagined what that meant then. I miss her very much on this process. I'm always resistant to any form of fanaticism and religious fervour. I know we'd resonate on that level, so I've popped into the Green Hotel for some minestrone and a glass of ginger/lemon/honey. And thank heavens once again for my brilliant little coffee jol in the mornings. Keeps me sane.

Wahe Guru (which basically means WOW!!)

Lovingness
till later.......

62 Minutes

62 Minutes

It's been more than 62 minutes since my last confession, but it's impossible for me to write regularly. There's just no time in the day. I feel much better connected since I got a local cell number with a 3G card so I can check email and upload pics to Face Book. But writing long logs on the phone is not an option, so I have to wait for the optional moments.

The deepening process in this course is so intense and also challenging. I'll say something about this at the end of this piece.
A couple of highlights:
A long 'Breath Walk' through the mountain, touching the edge of the jungle and culminating on a rocky beach at the Ganga. Let by GurShabad and his lovely daughter. We walked in silence, and used a moving hand mudhra with a silent chant. Very spacey. I'm so happy when I'm walking. In my heart I'm still a Pilgrim and my strength comes through so sweetly. If a Pilgrim is someone who prays with their feet, then I'm praying and praying. When we reached the beachy part of MataGanga, everyone found a place, a rock, or a bit of sand and we spent some time there. No talking at all. At some point movement started again and we all began to walk back to the path and then back to the meeting tent. 

A 'Yagna' ritual at the river led by Gurmukh. She suggested the day before that we all write something down that we want to let go of. Then once again all 150 of us, while clad, bare foot and in silence traipsed down to the river where the monks (some of them very young boy monks) had prepared a fire in the ceremonial place just in front of the massive statue of Shiva. We partook of the ritual of chanting and casting a mixture of seeds (and maybe cow dung? tee hee, and other bits and pieces of 'stuff' into the fire). The boy monks led the chant. So stunning. The river is huge here and flows very very fast. It's clean, being very close to source, so safe to step into and dunk down if you wish. Eventually we were all given a seed, which we wrapped into our papers and cast into the fire. I stood for ages on the steps leading into the water,with the cold powerful river rushing over my feet. Strong experiences.

A delightful party, held for us at Hotel Nirvana where they garlanded annointed and fed us all. Very opulent affair and we all got a chance to wear our 'Unwhites' or civvies.

I've just dined at The Green Hotel, next to the hotel that Micky and I stayed in in 2011. Free internet if you eat something. I ordered hot honey/lemon/ginger drink. Love it. And a pasta with tomato, green pepper and aubergine. Heavenly. A good break from all the ayurvedic food we get every day.

I'm very tired today. It's day 13 of the course. Therefore we've passed the halfway mark. It's an incredible process. I'm describing it thus, tho perhaps my darling Micky is the only one who will understand the distinction between experiences. 
I've walked many pilgrimages in Spain. And on Camino there is a sense of the flow of energy and people pass along the way. You slip into the river and go along in your own stream. There are always those that pass you, and some you leave behind in an eddy of some sort. Then there are some precious few who move in the same stream as you do, either by your side or just in front or behind. You can't stop the flow. And if you step out of it, you may lose the companions you've found thus far. It's always a choice.

This experience is different. I understand immersion now. It's like dipping in the deepest pool imaginable. Everyone else is also dipping in, but you go in alone. You know they're there, but you're inside your own process. I dip in and go down deeply, then rise again to the surface. I still need to breathe the air. But every time I go more deeply into the liquid substance, stay longer and come up for shorter times. I imagined in one of my meditations that eventually my being will become so transformed I'll be able to breath inside the deep pools of altered states. Perhaps I'll grow spiritual gills and swim in states of ecstasy. Don't get me wrong. I'm not losing my marbles, but I am having some utterly incredible experiences which defy description by normal language. I hope and dream that when I'm home I can express some of these experiences through my art, as often the experiences are very visual for me.
I'm very tired. Rising at 03h12 every morning for Sadhana is taking it's toll. Fortunately we've had an extremely boring teacher the past two afternoons. A precise Brit who talks so slowly I find myself slipping into the spaces between his phrases and losing consciousness. The sleep in delicious. I'll look the stuff up in books later.... I suspect I know it all already anyway :-)

This morning in our incredible class with Sat Siri, we sat in rock pose, hands above our heads in a mudhra, chanting Sat Nam. I am Truth. 62 Minutes. I will never be the same again XxxxX
And so so very much more. But I'll stop for now. The pasta was so good I may be back tomorrow for more, and more writing. Tomorrow we all have to do a presentation to our groups and lead them through a meditation. I'm solid. Thanks to Patwant in Cape Town who already gave me a taste of taking the class through meditation.
I hold you all in my heart. Deeply missing my darling kidlettes and little grand kidlette and kitties and all you other darlings. Oh, and Cape Town, what a rocking place.

Sat Nam
Mel

One Week

Day 7 today. It's been a full week of Teacher's Training and what a week.Little recap:
Indeed, the weather did set in late on Sunday and went on and on and on for 3 days. Living on the most south western tip of Africa, and knowing something about wild winter storms blowing in did help me somewhat, but I was ill prepared for so much rain and such cold. Didn't even bring a rain jacket. Never mind, I'm strong and can be resourceful, but the poor old tent took a battering and eventually rain was coming in from all side as well as through the seams along the roof, so we were forced to move to a much smaller space, inside a building. At least it was dry. Our dining tent also took a battering and the outer layer (which if it was a normal tent would be called a fly sheet I think..... but this is India.) I must say there were times that the force of the wind was so strong I did worry that some of the structure of our tent would be blown apart or collapse, but I guess the Indians do know how to build a pretty strong structure from bamboo poles and string (eish). And they did turn off the electricity to the cables which ran underneath us as the water level rose. So we spent 2 days in the yoga hall in the main yoga building and ate our meals downstairs in a long room, sitting on the floor in 4 long lines off plates and bowls made of leaves, (seriously). The Indian kitchen staff gracefully served us, walking up and down the lines and dishing up from buckets with long spoons. I loved it.

We've got outstanding teachers on this course. Gurshabad is full of history and understanding about the path of a yogi. He's very knowledgable and articulate albeit too extreme for my own liking. Gurmukh is a gem of gems. She's an inspired being, her knowledge of the yoga borders on  divine, and she's unbelievably entertaining and creative. The combination of her encouragement, and the power of group energy makes miracles happen on the mat. I feel her molding us in the most loving yet potent way. Her emphasis on 'Service' to the community is truly an incentive to all of us.
Sat Siri, ex ballerina from Australia, (I posted a pic of her on FaceBook) is an impeccable human being and therefore an impeccable teacher. We do sessions on technique and running a class, cueing, holding the space etc etc. I couldn't wish for better instruction. It's all so well done, seamlessly orchestrated, full of warmth and support. In true American style, we have great sound equipment and a sound man, who often seems to disappear when you need him. They even organised our own generator as the electrics in India are somewhat unreliable. So everything is miked up, and there's a roving mike for questions from the floor. We have a group of 22 people from Russia with their own interpreter who seems to be doing a seamless job. There's always a tiny bit of mutter coming from their corner as she's also miked up for them, and when a trainer cracks a joke, the main body of people laugh,and then after a very short delay, come the chuckles from the Russians.

The Technology of this course is becoming clearer as we move along. I can't go into that now, but hopefully will be able to share some insights about what I learning soon.
Meanwhile my own experiences are deepening all the time. I continue to have beautiful visions in my meditation, I'm strong in my yoga, I'm managing to get up at 12 minutes past 3am every day and make it to Sadhana tho I do often catch up on an hour or so of sleep during all the chants. Well, it's a beautiful sleep I promise, and I am there, even if my eyes are looking into other universes. The food is plentiful, varied, yummy enough.Of course it's strictly vegetarian as is the entire region of Rishikesh. In fact I think most of Northern India is vegetarian. It's easy for me. I don't miss eating animals at all.
The weather finally cleared up and today was the first day of sunshine. It help so much. A magic occasion with Gurmukh this evening. We ended her yoga set (and a strong hard set it was too), and then with her in the lead, followed by all 140 of us white clad, barefoot and walking in silence, we traipsed down from our work tent, through the grounds of the Ashram and down to the Ganges River. We gathered on the high steps as the river has swelled enormously from all the rains. Rows and rows of yogis, some of us with our feet in the water, doing a chanted meditation for 11 minutes. I didn't have a camera. Just myself and the sublime experience of chanting with such a big group while Mother Ganges played the background music. Gurmukh is astounding. How such a little woman manages to orchestrate such momentuous experiences for us all is just incredible. I'm so moved by it all. I splashed myself with the water afterwards and my feet, almost frozen in the icy waters felt warm immediately after. I can't begin to explain or describe what something like this feels like.
Come to yoga class, and feel little touches of it when I'm home.
Gotta get to sleep now.
Sat Nam
xx

Life under water

It's been such a challenge finding wifi here. The one eventually set up by our organisers is just not useful. Hence the days passing with no blog postings.
Now.... back to India.

They say doing a training like this as in intensive, or as they refer to it, An Immersion, is a brave and crazy thing to do. Adding into the equation, doing An Immersion in Rishikesh India, is bordering on Insanity. No one actually used the word Insanity, but I know from the way they sighed, rolled their eyes and showed just a wee touch of cruel smile at the corners of their lips that this is going to be a roller coaster ride indeed.

As mentioned before, the days are pretty full, and there's little time left over for anything other than eating, sleeping (and not too much of that),  washing and trying to keep a semblance of order in my clothes pile. From 4am every morning we're gathered in our magnificent white tent, on our mats with blankets aplenty to keep us warm. Outside the wind has been quite strong and we hear the commotion of monkeys surrounding us, longing to get into the tents to join us. There's a team of Indian men who roam around outside with long sticks shrieking, howling and growling at the monkeys to try keep them away from us. It as least gives me a feeling I'm somewhere wild. Mind you, it's pretty much like baboon watchers at home sans the high pitch screaming.  This afternoon in the food tent a young monkey climbed into the roof of our tent, and then directly above someones table scratched a little hole in the cloth and proceeded to rip a tear just big enough to poke his head through and gaze wildly down at a plate of food. Destructive little buggers. There was much screaming and jumping about, by humans, and little monkey was eventually chased away by Indian monkey chasing men. 

The Amazing Gurmukh arrives during the day, bejewelled and looking divine to lead us in unbelievably inspiring yoga classes. Her husband, the stern looking GurShabad leads the early morning sessions as well as the history of Kundalini and the lineage through which it comes. The meaning of striving for an enlightened state of being and all the trimmings and trappings therein. We watched video the other day of the infamous Yogi Bhajan who came out of India in the 60's to present Kundalini Yoga to the west and specifically to the bunch of Hippies living the good life in California. I've very mixed feeling about the man and his methodology, but I'm willing to let it rest for a while and percolate without passing judgement. I desperately miss my darling friend Micky now. I know we'd be able to thrash out some brilliant talks about Yoga/Religion/Mysticism/Fanaticism/Spirituality and Irreverence. Mostly we'd just send up a lot of this, enjoy the gems and have a damn good time.

Talking of good times, my coffee set up is working Brilliantly. AeroPress and a kilogram of excellent coffee from Cape Town. What a win. I scurry back to my room after the early morning session, just before 7am. Boil the kettle (lent to me by Krishna, a shop keeper in the main street (lane actually. Lane with stalls, eateries, cows, dogs, motorbikes, beggers, saddus, some tourists, various questionable looking westerners who may or may not have lost their way home, and a host of enthusiastic shop keepers trying to seduce you to enter their places)
Oh, did I mention that I brought a can of condensed milk? Yes yes yes, a true coffee expert would shudder, but trust me on this. It's India. And I do need a little sweet. And I do need milk in my coffee, so EISH!!! It's so good.

I'm feeling strong. Managing the yoga very well, though hours sitting on the mat can get quite uncomfortable. I take some of the extreme stuff with a pinch of salt, and love all the rest. Perhaps it's one of the joys of growing a little older. I'm not intimidated by pomp and ceremony and I certainly don't buy into any fear based authority. So even a Great Yogi telling me that I'll be reincarnated as a dog if I stuff up, just doesn't faze me. Besides, if anything, I know I'll come back as a cat which is by far more to my liking. It's easy for me to call a crock of bull what it is, but I do see many sweet young impressionable faces here, and some old ones too. And I see some people going through intense processes because this is a kind of initiation here, and it takes some doing.

Right now, some serious weather has set in and seems to be staying for about 3 days. Crap! Hectic strong winds, Rain Rain Rain, and flipping cold. And the hot water stopped in my room. Again. India huh. 
More tomorrow, as I try catch up.
Sat Nam.

Immersion

One hundred and thirty students from 29 countries. Only 1 genuine South African. Viva!

I huge tent set up opposite the dining tent we had in 2011. About quarter the size of the one we used next to MataGanga in 2011, but still huge never the less.

My alarm is set for 03h15. Yes, that's 3.15 in the middle of the night. Ouch.

We begin at 4am in the tent with Sadhana ( 30min light yoga, followed by a sung prayer for about 40min followed by several chants and mudhras, about 1.5 hours.) 2.5 hours all together.

Yesterday I actually stayed awake all through Sadhana, this morning I tumbled over near the end into a divine sleep for 10 min. The Guru's maintain that if you show up for Sadhana and sleep on your mat, it's better than not showing up at all. I'll go with that one.

At 7am it's breakfast time. The food is pretty amazing. Cooked to perfection by 2 Aryuvedic specialists, and while it's not really my style of food, I appreciate

the cleanliness and good balance. And the fact that I don't have to stand in the kitchen making it.

After breakfast we have class, either yoga or philosophy type discussion. I'll say more about Gurmukhs yoga soon. So stunning. 

Afternoon classes go on till 5.30 and dinner is at 6. 

Pretty full on!

I have problems getting onto the Internet here. The wifi provided just doesn't work so I have to plan something else. 

Hope to share more later today. So many incredible stories. Will put pics on Face Book since I still can't sort out how to put them on the blog

Sat Nam

Mel Miller
mel@melmiller.co.za `

Rishikesh Impressions

I'm kind of in a Judy Densch-ish space today. So pleased I took two days to settle in. Yesterday I grooved around Ram Julah (the side of the river where my ashram is) with the people I met on the way here. Veronika (a Czech living in Oz), Patrizia (an Italian living in Texas) and Robert, an Oz thru and thru. We landed up walking to Luxman Julah, the village at the second bridge, and joining a dance class in another ashram. Everyone in Rishikesh seems to have swallowed serious chill pills and are grooving on Loooove Baby :-)

I've connected with Sita Giri - an Amazing being. More about her later. But she asked me to attend Satsang in the Luxman Ashram this morning so.....
I didn't sleep well last night and woke up late this morning. My room in the ashram is comfortable enough albeit freezing cold. Took me a while to get myself together, shower, wash hair, put on my finery, have a tea in my room (scored a kettle from the shop keeper Krishna)
Have just walked along the Ganges River from Ram Julah to Luxman Julah, and this is where the Denschish part comes.
I still can't work out how to get my pics from the iPad on to blog so follow this for now.

Shop keepers sweeping outside their shops and washing down the cow poo and pee from the previous day. The aromas of India are not so much about spices and patchouli here.
a small smiling man with no arms, clutching a grass broom in his left foot, sweeping the piece of roadside that he occupies durning the day.  He sits and smiles at everyone who passes. What an Inspiration.
Ladies in beautiful sari's, oranges, reds and yellows, passing by silently.
A man driving a laden mule.
Cows and dogs everywhere.
Elderly men in orange robes sitting in squat pose on their blankets against a wall, a pot of chai in front of them, reading the newspapers in the early morning sun.
And on and on.
I'm enjoying a coffee at the diving Cafe Coffee Day now. Signing off so I can get to Satsang with Shanti Mai, meeting Sita Giri for lunch and invited to drink tea later with a man I met in the dance yesterday.
Isn't Life Incredible!!!!

My bags are packed. India awaits. I've done what I can do. It's time to surrender to this journey.
Here's a poem which touches my soul and speaks its' language.
See you all at the Mata Ganga.


Antonio Machado

Last night, as I was sleeping
I dreamt - marvelous error! -
that a spring was breaking out in my heart.

I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

Last night, as I was sleeping
I dreamt - marvelous error! -
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Last night, as I was sleeping
I dreamt - marvelous error! -
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night, as I was sleeping
I dreamt - marvelous error!-
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.